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I came across a quote recently that said “there is no such thing as failure, just feedback”, which I truly believe. I have discovered, as I am sure you have too, that we learn more from our mistakes than we do from our successes, in fact we actually can become complacent in our successes. Think back to a time when you worked extremely hard to win a new contract or to meet a very tight deadline and not getting the contract or missing the deadline. What lessons did you learn from these experiences? I am willing to bet that you learned some valuable lessons that have served you well ever since. As a Manager therefore, you have a responsibility to give regular and ongoing feedback to your team. Many people find giving feedback a challenge, sometimes because they do not want to offend, other times they are nervous about how it will be received and how the recipient will react. Others, on the other hand relish giving feedback because it easier to be critical or judgemental of others than to focus on themselves. Giving feedback can be a very powerful invaluable and positive experience for both giver and receiver if you are willing to adhere to certain guidelines. The keys to giving constructive positive feedback are good preparation, honest intentions and a clear idea of what you want to achieve as a result of giving the feedback. Ensuring that all 3 elements are applied when giving feedback will greatly increase your chances of a positive outcome. Some points to bear in mind when preparing for and actually giving feedback are: 1. Be clear about what you want to say. 2. Start with a positive – Diving straight into negative issues normally results in the receiver getting defensive. Get the receiver on side from the start and demonstrate that your intentions are for a positive outcome. I am not however in favour of the sandwich approach where a piece of negative feedback is sandwiched between two pieces of positive feedback. Having the second positive piece of feedback tends to deflate the message. 3. Be specific, avoid general comments and provide clear examples that support your comments. 4. Focus on behaviour rather than the person. So instead of saying “you were a disruptive influence on meetings”, you could say “texting and coming in and out of the meeting to answer calls yesterday had a very disruptive influence, this is the 3rd time this month I noticed this” 5. Own the feedback - Use ‘I’ statements. Remember the feedback is just your opinion. Be realistic – Feedback should focus on what can be changed. The recipient will just get frustrated and defensive if what is being highlighted is outside their control. 6. Be very careful with advice - People rarely struggle with an issue because of the lack of some specific piece of information. Help the receiver to understand and acknowledge the implications of their actions and encourage them to come up with their own solutions to resolve the issue. 7. Sensible timing – Do not leave it too long to give feedback but do take sufficient time to gather your thoughts and appropriate support facts. Giving feedback in the heat of the moment generally does not result in a very positive outcome. Giving feedback is a vital skill for all Managers to master and is therefore incorporated into my 1 day “Coaching Skills for Managers” workshop program I facilitate for companies in the Mid-West. If you would like to find out more about these workshops please contact us at
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Tel: 061-467287. Fergal O’Connor is a Business and Personal Life Coach working in partnership with his Business and Private clients providing a supportive, confidential, challenging and non-judgemental environment to make their ambitions and dreams a reality. Fergal also facilitates a range of Management training programs and is available for public speaking engagements. Fergal can be contacted at Synergy Coaching Services, Tel: (061) 467287,
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