If you have ever found yourself in a situation where you require other people to do something for you, you will most likely at some stage taught to yourself “Why does he/she not just do what I tell them?” Do you like being told what to do? I certainly don’t. I may like to get direction on occasion or be given a framework or structure within which to work but being told what to do just gets my back up.

What happens when someone tells you what to do? Depending on your position and your relationship with that person you will choose to do it or not. If the person giving the orders is someone you fear or hold in very high regard, you will probably do as they say, however if they are not particularly feared or revered which is quiet often the case in many Manager / employee relationships, the likelihood is low that the task will be completed to a high level of quality, timeliness and professionalism. What happens when you do as you are instructed and things start to go wrong? – You will automatically blame the person that gave you the instruction in the first place for the outcome and you will most likely not be overly committed to finding solutions. Instead you will more likely revert back to the instructor for further instruction or advise.

This is the way many of us were taught in school  - we were told what to do. I had the good fortune recently to meet Padraig O’Ceidigh, the man who has taken Aer Arann from a small local airline with an annual turnover of Eur250K in 1994 to one of the fastest growing airlines in Europe with a turnover touching Eur100million. Prior to getting into the airline business, Padraig was a teacher and he told me that when he was a teacher, he focused more on helping his pupils to learn how to learn as opposed to teaching (telling) them the curriculum. He has carried this philosophy through to his current business and encourages his staff to use their initiative, to come to their own conclusions, to derive their own solutions and to learn through experience as opposed to relying on a Manager to continuous tell them what to do.

To those of you who catch yourself asking the question “Why does he/she not just do what I tell them?” I say – stop telling them. Create an environment where people’s views are respected and learning through experience is encouraged. Give people the opportunity to come up with their own solutions. When you come up with an idea and are given the opportunity to implement it, you are much more likely to take on, work around or climb over obstacles that get in your way, you are less likely to blame other people if things go wrong – how can you, it was your idea in the first place and guess what, as so many Managers have discovered when they start adopting this facilitative approach, other people come up with better, more cost effective, simpler, more practical solutions that they ever would.

Here are some simple tips for a Manager to help create an environment where learning through experience is encouraged, it is ok in fact healthy to make mistakes and initiative is encouraged. (1) When a staff member comes to you for instruction or advice ask them  - what do you think? (2) Notice when you are about to “tell” someone to do something and instead explain the facts to the person and ask them for their ideas on how the problem can be tackled or how the task could be carried out. (3) Listen to people, and I mean really LISTEN. Quiet often someone will have a great idea but may be uncomfortable or unable to express it properly. There is always meaning behind words but it takes active concentrated listening to understand the message – take the time. 

Some comments I hear from Managers frequently when I talk about this approach is “my staff want to be told what to do, if I leave they will skive off, if I ask them for their opinions, they will think I am trying to get them to do my job”. If this is the case, most likely trust is an issue and without trust an open facilitative style of management would be extremely difficult so before trying to introduce a more facilitative style, I suggest that you focus on developing trust first. Building and promoting trust is a whole different topic, which we will leave for another day.

By adopting this Management style, you are facilitating your staff to grow, learn and take personal responsibility for the areas of the business within which they work. As a result, your staff members become more interested, motivated and committed and your time is freed up to focus on more strategic elements of the business. A WIN-WIN situation. If you would like to discuss any aspect of this article in more detail please contact us at Tel: 061-467287 or email: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Fergal O’Connor is a Business and Personal Life Coach working in partnership with his Business and Private clients providing a supportive, confidential, challenging and non-judgemental environment to make their ambitions and dreams a reality. Fergal also facilitates a range of Management training programs and is available for public speaking engagements. Fergal can be contacted at Synergy Coaching Services, Tel: (061) 467287, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it