When I challenge clients to focus on what they really want in life, many times they will say things like, in an ideal world these ideas are great but I have responsibilities, I have commitments, I have bills to pay, a family to support, a mortgage to pay off. I always wanted to take off and travel around the world, but I can’t do that, I have a family to provide for. When I hear these types of comments, I feel the person has become a victim of circumstance and has allowed external elements such as family members, their financial commitments and social expectations dictate to them how they should live their lives.

At the end of the day, whatever situation you find yourself in at the moment you can choose to change. If your current circumstance is not ideal, you can do something about it. You can select one of four choices. You can choose to do nothing, you can choose to change something, you can choose to change your attitude about the current situation or you can choose to get out. There you have it, the full spectrum of choice available to you when making any decision in life. If you can relate to any of the comments in the first paragraph above where other elements outside your control are dictating how you live your life, I would suggest that you are focused on just one of the choices available to you, namely choosing to do nothing. This choice can be extremely disempowering and does little to assist you in improving your life and living to your full potential.

You can choose to get out however there are 2 other choices you can make that are very empowering; these are to choose to change something or to choose to change your attitude towards your current circumstances. Both these options compel you to take personal responsibility for your own life. These can be tough choices to make which is probably why so many people just choose to do nothing; it’s easier in the short term but rarely the best course of action for the long term. If your life is not as you would like, take some time to think of some action you can take that will improve it.

If you feel there is nothing you can change, you can certainly change your attitude. Victor Frankle in his book “Man’s search for meaning” writes about his time spent as a prisoner in the Nazi concentration camps in Germany and Poland in World War II. He writes that it was not necessarily the physically strong that had the best survival rate but those who challenged themselves mentally to find some meaning for their lives and thus not allow themselves to become victims of circumstance. The survivors made better empowering choices.

Your challenge: Pick an area of your life that you are not happy with or would like to improve. Examine your current and past choices around this event. Has your choose been to date, to do nothing? If so, what better choices can you start making now that will make a tangible positive difference to your life? You can choose to change something or change your attitude. Once you make this choice, take action. Good luck.

If you accept my challenge and try this out, please drop me a line and let me know how you get on. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Fergal O’Connor is a Business and Personal Life Coach working in partnership with his Business and Private clients providing a supportive, confidential, challenging and non-judgemental environment to make their ambitions and dreams a reality. Fergal also facilitates a range of Management training programs, Team facilitation workshops and is available for public speaking engagements. Fergal can be contacted at Synergy Coaching Services, Tel: (061) 467287, email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it web: www.synergycoachingservices.net

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